Torn

31 Mar

 Lately I’ve been feeling very torn, and as is usually the case when that happens, I feel incomplete.  The reason for all this angst is that I have two jobs (more than that if you count the ones I DON’T get paid for, like mom and wife), and I love them both, but I wish they were balanced in reverse.  Let me explain …

I am a high school teacher, and I love teaching high school.  I do not, however, love all the other crap that comes with that job.  I don’t like being observed by administrators who look for something negative to say.  I don’t like feeling like I’m one of a very small crowd of dedicated people while other people get credit without effort.  I don’t like feeling that my classes are dumping grounds for kids who don’t want to be there just because they are “elective credits.”  I love teaching kids, but I don’t love being a teacher sometimes.

My other job, of course, is my Etsy shop.  I started this shop earlier this year, and to be honest I had no idea what I was doing and no idea if I’d ever sell anything.  Then I made a sale, to a woman in California I’d never met, and it was really exciting.  Then I made some really cool trades, and I started building up my business more and more, and I have orders for new items and I’m really excited.  I feel like my business is snowballing in a good way, and I’m so happy that it is.  I have all sorts of plans to make my business better and to expand to get my name out there, and there just aren’t enough hours in the day for all my plans, especially since I spend so many hours a day at my day job.

So now I wish I could cut back and make teaching my part-time and Etsy my full-time.  I’ve decided to bust my butt to make Etsy (and my art in general) more profitable for me so that I can, eventually, reach that goal.  In the meantime, I’ll just take time every day to create, because that’s what makes me really happy.  And as I keep doing it, I’ll keep getting better at what I do, and eventually I think I can make it.

Power of positive thinking …

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: